A decision that had to be made.

I was reading a book called Charlie Wilson's war. Kind of like Tom Clancy;s writing but much more deep in politics. Was one of those books you hardly get into it but it the same time once you started you want to finish. I just finished The Kite Runner last week. Which was fiction, now I wanted to read something real about the subject. And I found Charlie Wilson's War just the answer. Although I thought was boring, because pure politics. But so enormously real, and was revealing so many secrets that you had to read. The way government function in this country. Congress, CIA operation etc. And the fact that law and principals are just made for general public and the people who makes them and the main branches of government doesn't give a damn about it. I didn't know until I read that book that even foreign governments like Pakistan, Egypt, Saudi Arabia etc hire the same lobbyists in Washington that American companies hire. You can be a dictator, your hand bloody with innocent peoples blood and still can hire a powerful lobbyist in Washington DC to represent your cause in congress, get favors from legislative, found your countries and army and get good publication in American media for you all at the same time. There is no American policy anymore that is just for the benefit of this county and its people. Everything is for sale, you just have to know how it works.
So that's why I couldn't put the book down even it was 1 am.
Suddenly I remembered it has been almost two weeks since I talked to Dr. Ilham. First I thought I will get panicked. But there was that strange feeling. Everything was so unreal that nothing seemed mattered anymore. Politics were so dirty, country's establishment didn't have legitimacy to me anymore. And I didn't want to think about it and didn't want to get involved in it. For me politics were all lies before and now I was certain of it. So I wanted to distance myself from it, as much as I could. So what better way to forget all those than going to amazon with Dr. Ilham. Forget about world politics and who really running the world or my country. There it will give me a chance to focus on bigger picture. Universe, creation, religion and its origin. And If I knew Dr. Ilham one thing he hated the most was using a believe, an Idea, a philosophy to legitimize a rule. He was a secular that even the most secular person compared to him was like pope. So I was sure whatever conclusion we draw there, he will never permit anybody to used as tool for politics or ruling over people to get a government seat for someone.
He was my hero in that aspect. I always hated people invoking God's name and go in killing spree, declare war on nations, or establish a tyranny or even under name of democracy use it to amass billions and solidifies his position all at the same time. In that respect he was even more extreme then me opposed to anyone who was using God's name for any purpose other than praying in privacy of his own home or to show himself right from wrong not others.
So the idea of exploring something bigger for the sake of not to rule over others but purely for the sake of truth was suddenly appealing to me
That's when I decided to give him a call next morning.